A lot has been said and written about that female anatomy, the breasts, that usually send so many male admirers into such a frenzy that I thought. I might never touch the subject again. Recently, however, I came across fresh and humorous views on the topic and it is by a 34-year old and 360 sized female.
Lady with big Boobs According to Sarah, “I know men like to think that women lie around all day touching and staring at their breasts. Well, once in a while, in fact, we do. But aside from the odd afternoon interlude, most women don’t find their own breasts especially sexual. Our breasts kind of have two-way-personalities.
There is ‘How We See Them’. And then, there is ‘How Men See Them.’ “We see boobs as fashion accessories. When I buy a dress, I don’t consciously think: Wow! This is going to make all the men in the room want me.
More like; how will it offset my best feature? I know what you’re thinking: Nothing low cut was ever purchased in innocence. I swear to you, my breasts and I, we never conspire. I feel about my breasts the way a top model feels about her legs. They’re just part of my outfit, along with the right shoes, the right bag, and the right earrings. All of which, of course, mean nothing when confronted with how men see the breasts. Simple: Men see boobs as the very focal point of the entire world.
The male gaze files past all my attempts to craft an individual style and makes a beeline for the breasts. “On the one hand, this is not so bad. I have worn the same tasteful, yet cleavage-enhancing black dress to every party I’ve been for three years. I’ve thought about buying a new one, but who would notice’?
Think: Who at your average dinner party will complain about lumpy pounded yam or lousy drink when your vegetable soup has juicy pieces of bush meat and snails peeping through it? I am not always the best-looking or most sought after girl at the party. But I always look appropriately festive and men tell me I look nice and delectable! “The downside is that many people’s potentially fascinating conversations get lost inside my plunging neckline. For a while, I tried wearing necklaces—I once read in a woman’s magazine that this would draw the eye upward.
Unfortunately, it merely provides an excuse for men’s eyes to linger in this general area. Then they gawp. ‘Hey, is that a necklace’? It’s nice; where did you get it? ‘Oubai: I say. “I’ve never been to Dubai but the longer I look at this necklace, you know, the more I feel I have!’ My advice to male readers is that, should you find yourself chatting with an amply endowed female, you should practice restraint. It is not that we mind you looking at our breasts, it is just that seeing you do it is creepy.
“The stare, obviously, is bad. And the quick subtle glance is never as quick or subtle as you hope. Try using your power to reconnaissance, stare side-ways at a woman while you’re talking to another man, and then later, when you start up a conversation with her, look her in the eye while enjoying the mental picture of her breasts. This might all sound complicated, but it’s really not.
For those of you who need a little motivation, remember that while prisoners get time off for good behaviour, you get shirts off of course. It’s during the shirts-off phase that the difference between how we see our boobs and how men see them is most interesting. Men are always a bit amazed to see a pair of naked breasts and their amazement level increases with quality and size. So, I come to that naked from the waist up moment with mixed emotions. On the one hand, I am so totally over these things.
On the other hand, hello, you are beholding items of serious quality, and so, you’d better recognize it! “I have always been a fan of the quick, sincere compliment. ‘Whoa, nice rack’; is not what I have in mind. ‘Wow! you have gorgeous breasts,’ is more like it. Living every day with breasts, we tend to forget how interesting and sexy they are to people who don’t—live with them, and it’s nice to be reminded.
That takes care of the talking part. As to what to do, well, it’s really a matter of personal taste among consenting adults. I was with a group of women lately, and one wished her partner would touch her breasts more when they had sex. Her friend made a face and said her partner was much too fixated on hers.
I suggested they switch partners! “The bottom line, really is that, if men ask most women what they like, they’ll be happy to tell them. Finally, even though women and men (possessors and obsession), don’t see breast the same way, our two world views can co-exist. We women need to remember that what we take for granted are two of your main reasons for living, you men need to remember that breasts are flesh and blood, not toys.
Let’s cut a deal. We’ll wear nothing but low-cut shirts—if you promise to listen to everything we say when we’re wearing them,” concluded Sarah. So there you are male readers—a bit of enlightenment goes a long way in making you appreciate what most women regard as natural endowments.
