An internet
romance scam took an unexpected turn, writes Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani. When Maria
Grette first discovered that the “58-year-old Danish man” with whom she had
fallen in love was actually a 24-year-old Nigerian “419” internet scammer, the
62-year-old Swede was distraught. But, soon, her feelings changed.
“The most terrible thing was not that he had cheated me, but that he had lost his innocence,” she said. She became consumed with what she describes as “a profound need to make a difference to the people of Nigeria”. Ms Grette’s relationship with Johnny (not his real name) began after an evening of fun and games with her girlfriends, during which they playfully created a profile for her on an online dating website. A few years before, she had gone through a traumatic divorce, and her friends teased her about finally starting a new relationship.
But when the fun of creating her profile was over, Ms Grette, who works as an arts teacher, painter and arts therapist, didn’t give much further thought to the website. “I received messages telling me that people had contacted me, but I never looked at them,” she said. Then, one day, she did. “I still don’t know why,” she said. “It was like a sudden impulse happening before I could stop it.” That
“The most terrible thing was not that he had cheated me, but that he had lost his innocence,” she said. She became consumed with what she describes as “a profound need to make a difference to the people of Nigeria”. Ms Grette’s relationship with Johnny (not his real name) began after an evening of fun and games with her girlfriends, during which they playfully created a profile for her on an online dating website. A few years before, she had gone through a traumatic divorce, and her friends teased her about finally starting a new relationship.
But when the fun of creating her profile was over, Ms Grette, who works as an arts teacher, painter and arts therapist, didn’t give much further thought to the website. “I received messages telling me that people had contacted me, but I never looked at them,” she said. Then, one day, she did. “I still don’t know why,” she said. “It was like a sudden impulse happening before I could stop it.” That
particular message was from a man who described
himself as a Dane raised in South Carolina, USA; a civil engineer working on a
contract in England; a widower with a son in a Manchester university. “I was
caught up by the atmosphere and by something in his words,” she said.
Johnny: “I wish I could see through your eyes and see what you like to
see” Maria: “I like to see the truth, and often the truth is more
beautiful and greater than people dare to realize” Johnny: “You talk in
parable
´s. I can´t wait to see you” Maria: “I
can’t understand how you can think so dedicated of me, when you have never met
me. That scares me.” “We spent some time writing, then he called from a UK
number.” Ms Grette, who had lived in different countries across Europe, was
surprised that she could not place the man’s accent. She mentioned this to him
but didn’t give it too much thought. He told her that he was planning for his
retirement; had Sweden in mind for a place to settle; owned a house in Denmark
inherited from his parents; wanted to leave that to his son, Nick, who was very
attached to
it, while he looked for a new home for
himself in Sweden. “I wanted to meet him because I liked him,” she said. “He
had a way and a sweetness I had never known in a man before. And he was innocent
an isolated life – living in hotels and spending
his free time on golf courses owing to much travelling”. After three months of
communicating, the man agreed to come over and visit her in Sweden. But before
that, he and his son needed to make a quick trip to Nigeria for a job
interview, he said. Johnny
called to let her know that he was at Heathrow
Airport. And to say that he had landed in Nigeria. He also got her to speak
with Nick. The next phone call was to tell her that he was in a Lagos hospital.
They had been mugged, his son shot in the head, and they were without money and
papers.
Unfortunately, his bank did not have a branch in
Africa, he added, so it would take time to transfer money from his UK account.
Meanwhile, the hospital management was requesting €1000 to proceed with
treatment. The request “Honey, I am in the hospital right now using the
doctor´s laptop to send you this message so you can know my situation. Honey,
if Nick dies I will also die with him, I have
been crying, I wish I could call you, I wish I
never came here, I will never forgive myself for bringing Nick along with me. I
will call you with the doctor´s phone and send you an email later if I have the
chanse. “Honey, I am happy to hear from you and I am still at the hospital. The
doctor said we where lucky we where not kidnapped. The bank does not have a
location in Africa, so it will take time to get money and the management are
requesting 1000 euros to proceed with treatment. Nick is all I have
got and I will not forgive myself if anything
happens to him. I am confused, and I do not know where to turn at the moment……”
“I will never forget how I rushed to the Western Union office, trembling while
I did the transfer,” Ms Grette said. “All I could think of was to get the two
persons in Nigeria out of danger.” The plot developed after that initial
transfer. Medical complications called for more money.
The doctors demanded more advance fees. Several
thousands of euro later, in what she describes as “coming to her senses”, Maria
realised that something was amiss. She stopped responding to his messages.
Three weeks after her silence, he called her and confessed. He told her that he
was not who she thought he was. “I said I already knew that. I asked him to
tell me his true identity and he
did.” He was a 24-year-old Nigerian “419”
scammer. He had finished university two years earlier but had no job. These
kind of advance fee frauds are known as 419 scams in Nigeria after the section
of the Criminal Code which covers fraud. He further described himself as a
“devil” who had wronged “a lovely woman”. “He said he had never met anyone like
me before, that he had been fighting his
feelings for me for a long time. He said his
scamming mates had warned him about falling in love with a ‘client’, that he
had ignored them because he trusted me and did not want to lose contact with
me.” The revelation From this point on, their communication took a new turn.
There were no further requests for cash. “The attraction I started feeling was
to the person who was revealing himself to me… It was still him, but with a new
name and different age and circumstances,” she said. Johnny sent her a
photograph of himself, but Maria was not satisfied with that. “I wanted to meet
him,” she
said. “I could not live with this relationship
unless it was adjusted to reality in all senses.” Unable to get him a visa to
travel to Sweden, she made up her mind to go to Nigeria. In October 2009, Ms
Grette travelled to Africa for the first time in her life. “When I saw him at
the airport in Abuja, tears fell over his face, and I knew I had known him all
my life.” Ms Grette described her two weeks in Nigeria as blissful, a period
during which she and Johnny succeeded in transforming their romantic feelings
for each other into a good friendship. She met
his friends, many of whom were also scammers. It was while enjoying their
company one night in a local bar that she began to wonder how she could make a
difference. “I asked myself what I could do to prevent a situation where
healthy, good young men fall into this trap,” she said. An idea came to her two
years later, in 2011, after she saw an article on a Nigerian news website about
an arts exhibition. Over the past six years, Ms Grette has arranged for a number
of African artists to visit Europe for arts exhibitions, workshops, conferenc
es and competitions. She has assisted them to
source international grants and other funding to advance their work. She has
also visited Uganda to give talks on art, and is looking forward to another
visit to Nigeria scheduled for later this year. Ms Grette, now 69 and living in
Norway, is elated at the opportunity to improve the lives of these young
artists. “Johnny has given me more than he
took,” she said, “Without him, I would not have
met Africa.” When she’d visited him in Abuja, Johnny promised Ms Grette that he
would give up scamming. With her assistance, he left Nigeria shortly
afterwards, to study in America. Although they have not met each other again
since, she continued to provide him with financial assistance until he
completed his degree a few years ago and got a job in
the American oil sector. They still communicate
frequently, updating themselves on each other’s lives; and last year, he bought
one of her paintings which she shipped over to him in America. “He is very dear
to me,” she said. “He has asked me so many times to forgive him and I told him
that the most important thing is to forgive himself.”
“Source: BBC
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